"Time to clean up!"

"We're leaving in five minutes."

"Okay, it's time to go home."

For many children, these everyday moments can bring big reactions. A child may cry, resist, become upset, or have a hard time moving from one activity to the next. While these moments can feel challenging, they are not simply about a child "not listening" or "having a hard time with change." Transitions require a lot of skills that children are still learning.

Why Are Transitions So Challenging?

Transition is more than moving from one activity to another. It requires children to shift gears, to stop what they are doing, to manage their emotions, and to transition to a new situation, all while feeling secure and connected.

Transitions can be a lot for kids, especially those with differences in sensory processing, communication, attention, or emotional regulation. Their brains may take longer and require more support to prepare for what's next.

Imagine you are totally immersed in something you love, and someone tells you to stop. Even adults can find sudden changes aggravating. For children, these moments can seem even larger as they are still learning the skills to manage change.

Transitions Involve Flexibility

Flexibility is a skill you develop over time. Children develop flexibility through repeated experiences of feeling supported, understood, and successful. A child who struggles with transitions might not be trying to avoid the next activity; they might be trying to say:

• "Not yet."
• "I need a little more time to work out what's going on."
• "This is too big of a change."

If we can see these moments as communication instead of defiance, we can respond in ways that build connection and confidence.

How Can We Support Children Through Transitions?

Kids do better with transitions when they know what to expect and feel supported in the process. Strategies that are helpful include:

• Preparation Time: Tell the children something is going to be different. Statements like, "You have five more minutes of play and then we are going to clean up," help their brains start getting ready for the transition.
• Create Predictable Routines: Routines are a comfort for children because they provide safety. Children tend to feel less overwhelmed by transitions when they know what is coming next.
• Connect Before You Direct: Connect with a child before asking them to transition. Meet them where they're at, recognize what they're doing, and help them feel understood
• Provide Options When Appropriate: Small choices can help children feel in control. For example, "Do you want to first put the cars away or the blocks?"
• Support the Feelings Behind the Transition: Don't just focus on getting through the transition; help your child feel safe in the transition. "You're having a hard time stopping because you had so much fun. I'm here to help you."

Change is a Chance to Grow

Each transition is an opportunity for kids to practice key developmental skills, such as flexibility, emotional regulation, problem-solving, and trust. The aim is not for children to be comfortable with each change immediately. The aim is to help them develop the skills to cope with change over time.

At The Hummingbird Nest, we believed that children learn these skills through relationships, play, and meaningful connections. Even difficult transitions can be opportunities for growth when children feel understood and supported. Sometimes, the hardest part of transition isn't the transition itself, but rather it's having to do it without the support needed to feel safe.