What is a Time-Out?
Are you picturing a chair in the corner of the room facing the wall? That's what most of us think of when we hear "Time- out". A time-out, or as I like to call a “break”, is not a punishment, but rather, a time and space to process and reflect on a situation and the feelings that are coming up around that particular situation within us.
Who Does It?
We all have our own way of processing our thoughts and big feelings. As we get older, we figure out what works for us. For example, some may go on a run to clear their head and return to the situation refreshed. I personally enjoy making a cup of tea and sitting in a quiet space (a bit tough with 3 kids remote learning). Kids and teens may feel stuck in a difficult situation, and not realize that time away will assist in clear thinking. Better evaluation of the situation results in better choices made, and this is where adults can help implement the “break" for them.
How to do it?
Follow your childs’ lead, have them choose a space in the home where they find comfort. This is best done at a time when they are regulated and not during the difficult situation. This space can also have sensory equipment to assist in regulation. For example, an indoor swing, medicine ball to bounce on, and manipulatives (Ex. Putty or squeeze toys).
How Long?
I don’t believe in setting a timer for the “break”, most times this adds fuel to the fire, and when the timer goes off, the child comes out more wound up than before (I imagine it like the bell in a boxing match). An effective way to gauge the time is to leave it up to them, as in, check-in with them. Checking-in can sound like “feeling better?”, not yet? Ok let me know when you’re ready.”
Finally, always reflect on the situation with them. Check in and discuss the situation with them. The end goal is to have your child become attuned to their own feelings and realize if they need to remove themselves from a situation temporarily and come back to it when regulated..
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